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I had begun to practice yoga and meditation, trying to put my life back in some order. Nevertheless, it is fair to say that I felt something inside me, a longing, or perhaps, looking back, a kind of lust. But I got on with my life, and despite bouts of depression, I found alternative sources of exhilaration, sometimes involving intoxicants, but gradually giving up on those too and sticking to the bliss induced by my yoga. Then, just a few months ago, an old friend asked me to come to a party at her house. She knew I needed cheering up. I spent far too much time on my own, in my own introverted little world. I finally managed to motivate myself to go, dressing in a mid length skirt and long sleeved top, hippy style, like most of my clothes these days. The party was quite crowded, and at first I was overwhelmed by this, being so used to my own little world. I sat down on a sofa and made myself as comfortable as possible. After some time had gone by, I saw this very handsome looking man. It was all okay in the end; Jess turned out fine. She teaches grammar school now and is a very bright woman and very handsome. She is married and has teenage children of her own. I raised her from when she was ten, but she doesn't know that I am her father.When the time came for me to go to college, I was fortunate enough to get into one of the best universities on the West Coast. Mama bought a house nearby. But, though we remained very passionate, she kind of pushed me out of the nest, and I lived on campus. It was difficult at first, but she really knew what was best. I met my wife, Clara, at school, a girl of whom my mother grew very fond, even to genuinely love, especially after the grandchildren came.Well, Mama was killed in an automobile accident almost thirty years ago. We had last made love just two days before she died. She was good and loving and, to me, a very desirable woman -- I loved her very much. Sometimes, I get to missing her so bad, and it makes me so blue, that I.
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